Dear Double Unders

Dear Double Unders,

We are not friends. We will never be friends. We certainly will never have a relationship. I bought a special rope for you, and still ... you reject me. You whip me, smack me, trip me, and bring out every curse word I have ever known. I do not like your "playful" smacks on my legs and booty. You play too rough.

Is this my punishment for never wanting to double dutch as a kid? For never singing your jump rope songs? Well your punishment is too harsh. TOO HARSH, I say.

I am breaking up with you. This relationship is stagnant and only brings me pain (both literally and figuratively). I am choosing to focus on the positive things in my CrossFit life, like cleans, pull ups, and SINGLES. I can do singles like a BOSS.

Sincerely,
Uncoordinated

P.S. Tell your friend box jumps they can go screw themselves too.